He doesn't remember getting home, let alone how he got there, but his head is throbbing. He rolls out of bed and sees a note from his wife
"Breakfast and coffee is on the table, be home later. Love you"
"Huh" he thinks "normally she's not happy when I go out drinking the night before. What's up?"
He gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen when he notices the coffee table in the living room is smashed to pieces. He asks his kid what happened
"Oh, you tripped onto it and broke it last night"
"Wtf" he thinks "Why did she make me breakfast and leave a nice note if I did that...? Something is up"
He goes towards the kitchen when he notices the plant by the front door is knocked over, dirt all over the front porch. Again, he asks his kid what happened
"you knocked it over trying to open the door last night"
"FFFFUUUUUU" He thinks, realizing his wife must be waiting to unleash when she gets home "What else did I do last night?"
"Just one other thing, when mom tried to take your pants off and get you into bed you flipped out and started screaming "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I'M MARRIED!"
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