Jimmy is lost in the woods in the middle of the night. After hours of wandering, he stumbles across a random House. He excitedly knocks on the door and an elderly Chinese man who appeared to be at least 110 years old answers.
"I'm sorry to bother you but I am lost!" Jimmy says, " can I stay here for the night? "
The Chinese man says, " of course you can! On one condition, you cannot sleep with my daughter. If you do, you will suffer the 3 Chinese tortures"
Jimmy thinks this girl must be old and decrepit if he's this old so he agrees.
At dinner, the Chinese man's daughter comes down and she is this beautiful, athletic young girl. She appeared to be close to his age and he was ecstatic. Throughout the meal she is gave him a seductive look and touched his leg under the table.
After dinner Jimmy goes to bed. He could not contain himself, he tried so hard not to go to her room. He finally caved and went into her room and they made passionate love all night. In the early morning, Jimmy went back to his room, exhausted but satisfied.
When Jimmy woke in the morning he had a boulder on his chest. He noticed a sign on the ceiling that said, Chinese torture number one: boulder on chest.
Jimmy thought, "Ha! Gonna have to do better than that!" And throws the boulder out the window.
Then jimmy notices a sign on the window that says, Chinese torture number 2: right testicle tied to boulder.
To avoid castration, Jimmy jumps out the window.
As Jimmy is plummeting from the second story he sees a sign on the lawn that says, Chinese torture number three: left testicle tied to bedpost.
TL:DR: don't sleep with the Chinese man's daughter, you'll lose your left nut
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