A man goes to a bar

A man goes to a bar. He just had a fight with his wife and he want to drown his worries in whisky.

As he drinks, his worries fade away. Soon enough, he is piss-drunk and then he realizes: "Holy shit, my wife is going to kill me! It's almost the middle of the dawn and I'm here, shitfaced and far from home"

So he get up to leave, only to fall face-first on the floor immediately. He can't even walk. "fcknn damnit", the man wisely slurs to himself. He ends up dragging himself with his bare fucking hands all the way home. He doesn't want to wake up his wife, so he just let himself drift away in the couch when he finally arrives.

The next morning, when they wake up, his wife is pissed. He is pissed too, but in a less metaphorical way.

"You spent the night in the bar, didn't you, you little shit" the wife throws at him.

"No, I didn't! I swear!"

"Don't lie to me, dammit! The barman called, you forgot your wheelchair there!"