He goes up to a teenager stocking the shelves and asks, "I'm looking to buy a half-head of lettuce, do you have any?"
The teenager replies, "Not that I know of, let me go check in the back."
So, he goes into the back, finds his manager, and says, "Can you believe there's some fuckin' asshole out there trying to buy a half head of lettuce?"
His boss' eyes go wide and the teen turns around to see that the guy has followed him into the back. Without missing a beat, he continues, "And this fine gentleman is looking to buy the other half!"
So after the guy leaves, the manager calls the kid into his office and says "I really liked how quick on your feet you were out there today. Where are you from?"
"Canada," replies the teen.
"Ah, wonderful people, those Canadians," says the manager.
"Nah, they're just a bunch of hockey players and whores," the teen smirks.
The managers' eyes narrow and he tightly says "You know, my wife is Canadian."
"No kidding!" Says the teen, "What team does she play for?"
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