A man named James comes home a bit early one day from work to surprise his wife. As he enters their 11th floor apartment he smells cigarette smoke in the air and notices a pair of men's shoes that he does not own next to the door.
He enters the bedroom and finds his wife is laying naked under the sheet, her hair a mess, and a cigarette in hand. He frantically searches around the apartment for any sign of another man. He looks out on the balcony and notices a pair of hands gripped to the ledge.
So he finds and grabs his hammer, goes to the balcony, and smashes the fuck out of the hands. The man who was grabbing the ledge falls 10 floors but he lands in some bushes that break his fall.
Infuriated that he lived, James picks up the mini-fridge from the bedroom and throws it on the fucker in the bushes. Feeling pretty remorseful that he just killed a man with a fridge, and that his wife is cheating on him; James jumps off the balcony head first and dies.
So three men are standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks at the first man.
"So why are you here?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I was up painting the side of the 13th floor of an apartment complex when my scaffolding broke. As I was falling I was able to just grab the ledge of a balcony. So I'm hanging precariously, trying to figure out what to do next, until this DICKHEAD comes and smashes my fingers with a hammer. I fall and land in some bushes, and then the same guy throws a fucking fridge on me."
St. Peter looks at him and says "You're good, come on in." He turns his attention to the next guy.
"Why are you here? St. Peter asks.
"Well, I came home early from work and I believed that my wife was having an affair. I looked around and saw a guy hanging from my balcony, so I took a hammer and crushed his fingers. He fell, but lived, so I threw a fridge on him. Feeling bad about my actions and my affair, I decided to jump and kill my self."
St. Peter looks at him and says "Yep, you're going to hell." He turns his attention to the next guy.
"Why are you here?" St. Peter asks.
"Oh me?" The third man replies. "I was in the fridge."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.