His wife goes mad about it, starts asking where he's been, what did he do. Husband says nothing, drops on their bed and falls asleep. Wife starts searching through his pockets and finds a condom. Furious as she is she unpacks it and stuffs it up his arse. In the morning, wife asks the husband:
"Have you been with your friends again?"
He answers: "I don't have any friends."
P.S. Obligatory sorry for bad English.
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