A man comes in to audition for the owner. He asks, "Is it alright if I play an original piece?"
The owner says, "That's fine. Begin whenever you're ready."
The man plays a beautiful score. The owner is so moved and overcome with emotion he can barely contain himself. When the pianist finishes, the owner says, "That was brilliant! What is it called?"
The man says, "That song is called, 'Menstrual Juices on a Dirty Dish Towel."
The owner is taken aback and slightly offended, but he asks to hear another one of the man's original songs. The pianist obliges and plays a song even more beautiful than the first one, bringing the lounge owner to the brink of tears.
"Remarkable!" Says the owner. "What do you call that one?"
"That one is called, 'Smother the lady with a hairy ballsack.'" replies the man.
Completely baffled at how such a talented artist could name his songs something so vulgar, the owner offers him the job. "I have one condition, however," says the owner. "Just don't tell anybody the names of your songs."
The man agrees. On his first night in front of a large crowd, the pianist is struggling with anxiety and nervousness. So, he decides to go to the bathroom and jerk off to relieve the tension. When he returns and takes the stage, a patron in the front row asks, "Hey man, do you know your cock is out and there's cum on your pants?"
The man says, "Know it? I fucking wrote it!"
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