A letter to Tide

Dear Tide,
I have always used your product ever since my college days,
because mom says it was the best. One weekend about a month ago,
I was at my girlfriend's place, wearing my new white shirt. Much
to my chagrin, I spilled some red wine on my white shirt. She
made a comment about my drinking problem, one thing lead to
another, and soon I had her blood all over my not-so-nice white
shirt. I tried washing it with her detergent, and it just didn't
do the trick. So, on my way home, I stopped at the store and
picked up a box of new Ultra Tide. It washed the stain so well
that the DNA tests were entirely inconclusive! I can't praise
your product enough. Thank you for saving my life! I must go
now. I also have to send my praise to the makers of Hefty
garbage bags...


Thanks again!


John Smith