One day, an elderly Jew in Soviet Russia breaks out a holy book and begins reading it aloud to himself in Hebrew.
A Soviet officer takes notice of this and with an aggressive voice goes, "Insufferable Jew! What exactly do you think you're doing?" to which the old Jewish man responds, "Your excellence, I'm just practicing my Hebrew."
"And why exactly would you be doing that?"
"Why your excellence, Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven!"
"Arrogant Jew, what makes you so sure you'll be going to Heaven"
"Well, your excellence, I already speak Russian."
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