A drunk man stumbles into a bar...

A drunk man stumbles into a bar and approaches the bartender and orders two shots of whiskey.

Bartender says "damn man, you look like you've had a shitty day"
Drunk man, slightly crying says "it'sss been the worst day of my whole liffffe! I wassss standing on the corner of street taking a piss when a busss went by and knocked my dick off man!"
Bartender says "that sounds impossible. No way a bus knocked your dick off"
Drunk man says "I got it right here...in my pocket!" and he reaches into his pocket and lays it up on the bar.
Bartender says "You drunk fool, that ain't your dick. That's a cigar"
Drunk man examines the object on the bar and says "Oh. Wrong pocket" then reaches into his other pocket and grabs it and puts it on the bar.
Bartender says "Sorry bub. That's a cigar too"
Drunk looks at both items and starts to cry -"Holy sssshit. I smoked my dick"