A man is at the bar drinking with his buddies, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."
"Relax," one of his buddies says, "give me a ten-dollar bill." The friend folds up the bill and puts it in the drunk guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you ten bucks to have your shirt cleaned."
"Thass a great idea!"
When the drunk gets home his wife wakes up and angrily asks "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"
He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me ten bucks to have my shirt cleaned, see for yourself!"
The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $20 in here!"
"Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too"
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