when yet another lucky customer comes roaring past doing twenty miles over the limit. The cop lights him up and pulls him over. After retrieving the driver's license and registration, he's filling out the ticket and he asks the driver, "So, what do you do for a living sir?"
The guy replies, "Oh, I'm an asshole stretcher."
The cop pauses in his writing for a sec, dumbfounded. Then asks, "What exactly does that involve?"
"Oh, it's simple," the driver replies, "First you insert a finger, eventually you can get two fingers in, then a fist. After that you can work both hands in and really start stretching it out. After it gets big enough, you can work you feet in there and keep stretching until it's about six feet."
"Six feet?" The cop asks, "What do you do with a six foot asshole?"
"Usually," the guy says, "you give him a radar gun a park him at the end of a bridge."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.