A 50 year-old woman decides to spend a lot of money on her birthday...

...on cosmetics, wrinkle reduction treatments, a new hairdo, new clothes, etc. When she decides she's done the most she could, she feels really good about herself and decides to go for a walk.

First, she enters a shop to buy a magazine. While she's paying, she asks the cashier:

'How old do you think I am?'

'Thirty-four.'

'I'm fifty!' she says, and she leaves very content.

She goes into a McDonalds and while paying, she asks the cashier:

'How old do you think I am?'

'Thirty-one.'

'I'm exactly fifty!'

She's truly in heaven when she notices an elderly chap waiting for the bus at a stop. She approaches him with a big smile and asks:

'Sir, how old do you think I am?'

'Look, m'am, I'm over eighty-five, my sight isn't what it used to be, but I have an infallible technique to establish your age. If you'll allow me, I'll go under your bra and I'll be able to say exactly how old you are.'

The woman was definitely not expecting this, but she was really curious so she accepted. They hid behind some bushes and the old man put his hands under her bra. He went around the whole area, nicely and softly. He lifted her breasts, he cupped them, squeezed them a little bit. The woman grew impatient.

'So?'

'M'am, you're exactly fifty!'

The woman couldn't believe it.

'How the hell do you know that with such exactitude?!'

'I was standing behind you in the queue at McDonalds.'