3 days ago I got a pass-code lock that takes a picture whenever someone enters the wrong code in my phone.

Did you hear...

It was fucking in tents.

They say you are...

I guess that makes me human

Fart

What is a fart? A Turd honking for the right of way....

I got caught...

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

If you play a...

...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista.

Which grocery...

Pro-deuce.

The leading...

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2....

How do you get a...

Tortilla chips.

Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris makes onions cry!!!

How do apply for...

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.