2 men are talking about Freudian slips...

... one says to the other, "I made the worst Freudian slip the other day. I was trying to buy train tickets from this beautiful female conductor. She had these really huge breasts, so I meant to say 'I would like two tickets to Pittsburgh', but instead I said, 'I would like two pickets to Titsburgh.'" The other man says, "I got a better one. I was having dinner with my wife the other night, and I meant to say, 'please pass the salt,' but instead I said, 'you miserable bitch, you ruined my life.'"

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