11 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL IS BETTER THAN WATER

1. ALCOHOL IS MORE EXPENSIVE PER VOLUME THAN WATER
2. DRINKING ALCOHOL MAKES YOU HAPPY, STRESS FREE AND DO STRANGE THINGS. DRINKING WATER DOES NOT.
3. IF YOU JUMP IN A SWIMMING POOL FILLED WITH ALCOHOL IT WILL KILL YOU QUICKER THAN JUMPING IN A SWIMMING POOL FULL OF WATER (IF YOU’RE COMMITING SUICIDE).
4. ALCOHOL BURNS AND CAN CREATE A FIRE, WATER DOES NOT.
5. ALCOHOL CAN MAKE YOUR OLD VOLKSWAGEN WORK, WATER WILL NOT.
6. ALCOHOL WILL REMOVE STAINS THAT EVEN WATER CANNOT REMOVE.
7. ALCOHOL CAN MAKE PERFUMES AND DEODORANTS.
8. YOU SELL ALCOHOL AND YOU MAKE MORE MONEY THAN IF YOU SELL WATER.
9. IF SOMEONE THROWS A BUCKET OF ALCOHOL OVER YOU, YOU WILL DRY OFF FASTER THAN IF SOMEONE THREW A BUCKET OF WATER OVER YOU.
10. BACTERIA CAN GROW IN WATER – BUT NOT ALCOHOL!
11. ALCOHOL AT R.T.P. (Standard Room temperature and pressure) CAN PRESERVE A DEAD BODY FOR A LONG TIME, PLAIN WATER AT R.T.P. CANNOT.